" .. we are sorry that your recent job interview with us has not been successful ..."

When it come to job interview result, the good news (offer letter) will be signed by the superior while I am the one that deliver the bad news. Being a routine for the past 3 years, never did crossed my mind how the candidates would take it. I tried my best not to use negative words in the letter, as in the title. I remember my own experience, when i failed to get a job that I really wanted in 2003, i cried silent tears, nobody knows, even hubby, or the children. Nice words did not help to ease the sorrow ...

And now, the verdict on my recent interview is finally out. They quashed my application on the basis that it was done without going through my superior. But what I learned at first, that was not the reason. It was something else. This technical reason is just to cover whatever intention that they had. What a painful blow!!!!  These people, when they make the decision, did they ever think of other people's future??? Do they know the hardship that other people is facing and made them took that twist???? Closing people's opportunity right at their nose? I hope that God will do justice for me. Not that I am that religious but I think that I am being victimized. I have mouths to filled, this year 2 of my children is going to universities, next year 1 more (insya'allah), been driving this old pool family car for the few years ... and few others that I care not to elaborate here ....To me, their intention is questionable, was it transparency, as they claimed or merely protecting their egos or mabe to protect their @##es infront of the boss?

Consoling myself, I want to think that, when one door closes (even if it already hit on my nose!), there will be more door opens, control breathing, positive thinking .... but bullshit all of those now. I just want to let my anger,  disappointment and shame out & subside by their own. Layan .... So ashamed coz the earlier news was that I GOT the job - colleagues, friends, family, i wanna hide from rite now.... Hell this is painfully  tough to endure ... arghhhhhhh ....